Monday, May 13, 2013

2 years on. I think I have something to say now.'s been two years since my last blog. Well...a lot has happened, especially in the last year. In fact it's about this time last year things went a bit pear shaped. I managed to get the flu, didn't realise at first and battled it out at home. After a few days I gave way and decided to go to hospital. On arrival at hospital it appeared that I was a tad dehydrated and my kidneys had gone into failure, that's right...kidney failure. Jesus! So I was admitted, but they couldn't give me antibiotics because my kidneys couldn't take it. I knew I was ill, but how ill, that I don't think I realised.

They put me on 4 litres of oxygen and continuous fluids to re-hydrate me, but even that wasn't enough. I woke up in the morning gasping for breath, I buzzed the nurse and begged them to start IV's as I could tell things were not good. I finally got some iv's and some heavy duty steroids infused. This was all good, but my body became massively swollen. Not only that my gums for some reason cracked and my lips were all swollen. It was a very unpleasant time. Not only was my health taking a hit, but due to the nature of my crash (kidney failure) my team were concerned about whether my kidneys would be good enough for transplant. The thing that I have been focused on for the last decade, the reason I gave up work and the reason I have tried so hard to stay fit was potentially being taken away from me. I was devastated.

Not only that, but whilst this was all going on my partner and I were clearly on our way to splitting up. The week before I was admitted into hospital, my partner had doubts about our relationship. So whilst worrying about my health, my kidneys, my lungs and potential transplant, my 11 year relationship was also coming to an end. If anything, the concerns regarding my health put my relationship in context. If I cared more about my health, than my relationship, then maybe that was a sign the relationship was right to end. I think so. Ill health certainly puts life in perspective and makes you realise what's important.

Sorry for the grim update, will try better next time. However, there is still a lot to update you on, some grim, but I promise some good. However, that's life isn't it? The good, the bad....and ugly.

I'll leave you with a wee song by my favourite band of the moment. Frightened Rabbit are from Scotland, Selkirk to be exact. People occasionally say to me 'you're so inspirational'. I think they say it cos I have CF. Nothing inspirational about it, just a person dealing with their situation. However, I would like to think that while I'm on this planet I could influence and encourage people. No matter who you are, how popular, unpopular, famous or not, you will influence someone and that will make a change. Like donating your organs, no bigger influence or bigger change you can make to someone's life that that, is there? Enjoy FR.

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